Hey kiddies, so I’m trying to stay awake in an attempt to fix my sleeping problems. I think part of the problem is having afternoon naps that go on way too long. They make me feel and I can’t sleep later. So making this video is my way of focusing on something so that dinner will come faster and my stomach will then take over the task of keeping me awake. I’ve tried studying but I’ve had enough today and it’s boring and it’s been making me want to snooze more…!
Video making is a good way to stay awake I think. I mean, I can’t keep in my head so I’m going to make a video anyway. And it’s not just filming which keeps me awake. If I edit it, that takes time. Then I write these stupidly long descriptions that don’t always stick to the topic. Also, I almost always watch my videos once just to make sure it doesn’t have anything stupid in it like my bank account details or me saying/doing anything too stupid… but I only really watch once and then never again unless it’s artsy, because I still find it weird to think that’s me on camera and not someone else. Then uploading takes time, although I need something else to do while that’s going on… More Hearts I imagine. The problem with that game is that, when you win, it sends floating love-hearts up the screen. Gross. Too much, and none of them are ever black. Black hearts take the edge off the lameness. I quite like black hearts. WHY DON’T THEY FLOAT THEM INSTEAD!? Or sink them… hehe…
Yeah, so, what else… I should keep writing to stay awake, let’s see…
Apart from being fairly tired and study-sick, I feel pretty good today. Yesterday turned out good too, I really needed a break from things. Getting out of my room probably helped get me away from all the crazy in my head. I really think this environment I’m in has too much of yester-me in it. Although I do like my red carpet and my blue walls and my black curtains…! Which I guess aren’t quite as exciting now as they used to be… Buuuuuut anyway… It’s kinda interesting how changing something physical like that can change my state of mind. I wonder how long I go being back in my room before I start getting all stressed again… XD I shouldn’t mention that word, “stress”, not with assignments due in just over a week…! Crap!
Hmmm… running out of ideas, I’ll watch this video now and see if I think of anything…
My dream? Oh well… It’s getting vague now but… Who IS that character? I swear she was in some movie… Well this character seemed to be trying to get some lone enemy to comply, and had all these weapons and a sort of army, but the enemy wouldn’t budge so this character turns on one of her own who looked disturbingly like her and shoots all these HUGE bullet-ish things the size of coke cans pretty much chopping the soldier girl in thirds except that they lodged in her and stuck there, and also kind of made a frame around her suspended in the air and the soldier girl stood there for a bit with all this crap in her and then died in a really nasty drawn out way which makes me squirm and I dunno who or what or where I was but I was like “WTF, demonstrate on your enemies not your fellow soldiers, are you insane!?” but in my head so no one heard me… assuming I was even there… I think there was a chase at some point, and other things going on but that’s the event that stuck in my waking mind. I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams lately, and some have been pretty disturbing to me. This one almost seems tame by comparison.
Yeah Max is too stupid to understand that he shouldn’t pee on the floor. Shouting at him just makes him shake, he doesn’t really get the message. He should live outside.
The pill! It works so well! I feel better about it now, I hate taking stuff if I don’t see results, like how Zoloft just made me crazier without really helping me feel better. I’m just really happy. I feel almost nothing. Oh it’s dinner now, I’ll be back… Here I am! Where was I… Yeah, I can’t believe how long I spent suffering this bullshit when I could have just been taking the pill earlier. All the pain killers I used to take probably weren’t good for me anyway, and they didn’t work that well. The pill is just one tiny little thing every night AND it works perfectly! Why didn’t I do this earlier!? I dunno about my skin, don’t really care, but my period…! Wow, what a difference! I don’t feel like I have to stay at home curled in a ball anymore.
Oh oh also! Once I got off the train, there was a lady being taken away in a stretcher by ambulance guys. So today I saw the police, ambulance and… just missing the firefighters… ooh, I have matches… tempting… XD
Duration : 0:10:56
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